I know I haven’t been responding to emails. I’m an asshole, deal! Keep sending them though cause eventually I will send something back. And I do love hearing about how much you love me. It helps because my love for myself is less than normal. Please don’t tell me I’m wrong because I already know. I’m in therapy and my therapist asks me why and I regress back to my childhood when I first started thinking these things and whoaAaAa, its deep shit!

I know I should think I’m awesome and I can do anything like be president…well, we have a black one now not a woman (and that is one of the two reasons why I supported Hillary: the pussy and health care…but I’m glad cause she scares me, like Z-Man scares me) so me being president still has to be demonstrated–I mean a woman president has to be demonstrated. Plus I inhaled, snorted, popped and licked (and I mean licking up whatever is left cause I would do anything to get it in me). I did not inject which I am proud to say! I just snorted it, but only once, and it was bad shit, really low grade smack! Someone scraped it off the bottom of the toilet, bad shit. Kept me up all night it did! So I doubt I could be president cause a woman president, I would think in this benevolent and patrilineal society we live in, a woman of my standing would be scrutinized to the utmost power! Can you tell I’ve been reading turn of the century novels AS OF LATE?

But I digress. It’s been a very long time since I’ve snorted, popped and licked–I smoke PLEASE! So I have been going through the lovely therapy which is making my piece of mind go to pieces. Again, don’t tell me I shouldn’t go to pieces because that is the process. Today I learned that I think I am not deserving. Of what? I don’t know. I will tell you next week when I find out because I want things like that to happen that fast in therapy. Maybe I wont cause it will embarrass me. Not much embarrasses me though so I might. I think I deserve not to be embarrassed. See I’ve made a break through! Ah Ha!

Now lets get to my contempt of the year: If you want to buy something, buy it! Don’t email me and tell me how great I am and that you want this or that and then disappear! I get back to most inquiries in a few days to two weeks. You need to get back to me right away! I have no patience! I am the goddess, I can take as long as I want! I have had quite a few inquiries lately so buy! There is a VOD page, buy there first and I will know you are serious and I will get you the rest. I can’t get a job in this fucking economic climate so this is my bread and butter and lately it’s only butter. Actually, its just the plate that its served on (I already have plates so you get the picture).

And to thank you for reading all this, I give you Fire Angel by Chiguy! If you want to photoshop me I will post it!

I’ll have to figure something else out since people want to donate to me again. I’ll let you know as soon as I do.

I’m not going to AEE this year due to not having the money. I would if I could. Last year it was a little boring to me just wandering around looking at the naked things and seeing porn people in person. They don’t look that different thanks to HD. When I hung with Gram Ponante I had fun and I should have gone with him to the awards and the parties. Stupid! But I was sick, very sick. Oh fuck was I sick!

Today Gram posted a bunch of stuff about what is coming to AEE this year, in a little over a week. I guess Ginger Lynn is going to be there doing a rock band thing with Tom Byron and Shayla LeVeaux. OK, that’s really gay, but I do know Ginger Lynn a little and it would be fun to see her do something gay like that.

I don’t know Ginger as well as my ex boyfriend seems to think he knows her. I’ve met her twice and he met her once. She kinda accused me of using Christy Canyon’s name as a stepping stone. Whatever! She was nice off the radio but not on. After we left and were in the car I said to the ex, “Ginger was a little bitchy”. And the ex, who has always been a fan says, “she was always nice to me”. I thought about that, pissed that he wasn’t taking my side and then realized he used the words was and always. I asked him, “what the fuck was always? You met her for five minutes! I spent time in the bathroom with her I could hear her piss! The least you could do is be on my side since you heard her say I was using Christy’s name!”

My ex had a weird look on his face. I could see that he was thinking which was hard for him and hurt his head. He didn’t want to make me madder because I brought him along with me to meet two of our favorite porn stars. Yet at the same time he was angry that I was raising my voice to him. You just don’t raise your voice to him. In fact I never did unless he did first. He looked at me sideways and then stared straight ahead. I will bet he thought I had my period for a minute then realized he fucked me right before we left so that wasn’t possible. Most likely he chalked it up to some weird time in my cycle and he made sure to remember to pull out extra early the next time we had sex. (We had sex as soon as we walked into the hotel. He forgot and pulled out right before he came and splattered my chest and stomach.)

Watching his mind go made me sad for him. He tried so hard! I assured him that it was fine and he could have his little fantasy of knowing her all these years. He said something about not liking my sarcasm and then he smoked a joint and I took more vicodin. Happier, I talked about what Christy’s tit tasted like and he got a boner.

It would be nice to see Ginger. She most likely wouldn’t remember me but we did fuck the same guy and that kinda means I fucked her in a way. That’s neat!

Hey, look, Boobies!

Oh Alix, why aren’t you blogging more? I ask myself that every day and she doesn’t answer me. Maybe it’s because I’m referring to myself in the third person lately too embarrassed to admit that I am me and I can’t think of anything cute or witty to write about.

Well today I read the paper and what a mistake that was. At least I have something to write about.

The newspaper told me that Bush fucked us all up the ass but his lawyers are arguing that we can’t prove that his dick actually entered our asses. I felt the pain but I refuse to believe it was his dick. At least I fantasized about Johnny Lee Millers dick up my ass at the time. I think Bush’s dick spent a majority of its time at Guantanamo Bay, but hey it can’t be proven.

One reporter told the people of Illinois that we are fucked and we should worry. Another told us not to be ashamed or worry. Either way, Blago is crazy and it is ridiculous that he is still in office. But hey, he pursued a boxing career first! Did you know that? Gotta love the news.

The worst part of the paper was that is was missing three of the four crosswords it usually carries. The main reason why I buy the paper. There is a kids crossword but I threw it out. I’m pretty pissed about the crossword, the damn paper was fucking two dollars! Yeah whatever people in New York that have to pay $20 for the Times. This is the Midwest and we are in a recession, I could have bought toilet paper. Thankfully the Tribune uses ink that wont come off on your fingers so I’ll wipe my ass with the Smart section later. What the shit is the Smart section for? I already know how to paint my nails.

So that’s what’s been happening lately. I have things to write about but they’re angry things. And while I think I should say happy new year and all I realize I said that last year and it wasn’t so much a happy year. Well it was happy but poor, monetarily, my economy fell into a recession-year. At least taxes will be easy.

As far as my porn life, ah well the last scene I did was kinda horrible. It took almost 10 hours to do one scene and while the guy was nice and all he was drunk as well. I felt for him until he breathed alcohol on me while he tried to make something out of a very non-romatic thing. I like to get the thing done in an hour or two not ten. I hope it turned out, I can still act, but that sucked! I know I’m ruining the porn image for you. Whatever get over it. It’s a job!

A few months back I couldn’t really speak but still able to suck cock so that was good.

Happy mother fucking New Year!