If I wasn’t sick I might have gotten fucked in the back of a car which happens to be a Christmas tradition with me. Having sex in cars on Christmas Eve is always something I look forward to ever since I was 17 and with the third guy I ever had sex with. We fucked in his car after going to his aunts house for dinner. Coincidentally all my boyfriends went to their aunts house on Christmas Eve. He pulled up in the empty lot behind my subdivision where they were building new houses. I pulled off my jeans and underwear and climbed into the back seat. He followed.

There was nothing really spectacular about the sex itself. It was uncomfortable with the seatbelt in my ass and the cold air seeping in through the windows. But our teenage passion for each other and pure want made me swoon. That was back when making out was everything and nibbling on earlobes and kissing the neck was part of four-play. We would hold hands and grasp each other desperately like it was the end of the world and we only had this night together. That’s what teenaged passion was for me.

I would be dizzy and dreamy for the next week or two constantly thinking of our night together in the car. How he said “Merry Christmas Alix” when we were done and drove me home giving me a wet kiss before I got out of the car. I was in heaven that Christmas and made it a point to continue that tradition of fucking in the car on Christmas Eve whenever possible.

It’s too uncomfortable now but when there is a nice big SUV I can deal with a seatbelt or two just too feel that again.

I can’t wait for all this to be over. I always thought that the Christmas season was too long. It starts after Halloween and ends after New Year. I remember that they even brought Santa and baby New Year together somehow when I was little. It was one of those cartoons on TV. Santa and baby New Year were doing something together.

After New Year it’s 4 to 5 months of dark cold weather. I think they should move Christmas to the end of January, let us get more used to winter. Christmas would be a nice break in the middle of the winter and something to take our minds off the sub-zero temperatures. I love Chicago but as I always say, I hate the cold. It is so hard to leave though.

I’m not going to Miami. I’ve been sick for a few months now and it’s not getting better. The doctors don’t know what it is all tests came up negative but I still feel bad. So I’m staying here and taking some more tests. Don’t worry there isn’t any cancer or life-threatening illness. I think I just had an allergic reaction to something and it is hard to figure out.

It sucks cause I really needed the money but after working at Score and enduring the pain I decided to stay home and see the doctor a few more times and find out what might be causing it. I’ve already told a few of you and now I figured I need to tell you all so you know why I’m not going to Miami.

I will do some solo work here and might even still go to AVN. We will see. Stay tuned I’m not going anywhere.

I got my Christmas presents early this year! So far I have gotten everything I wanted and a little extra surprise like this movie with my picture on the cover!

To get yours go here!

Hope you have a wonderful holiday!

I found this fun site called Lana’s Big Boob Site. I wonder how I can get my bio on there? Anyone know how? Don’t you love these pictures of me too!

I have to make sexual decisions every day. It’s one of my fantasies come true. Most of the time the decision is to masturbate or not to masturbate to a webcam but who do you know that has to make that decision daily and have it effect their income? I doubt you know anyone.

Today will be the last day of my hiatus from the webcam. I will finish my last Christmas present today and go back to work tomorrow. I should probably wrap all my gifts too so I don’t have to do it later. I’m a super procrastinator but normally I would be finishing everything on Christmas eve and it’s a week away.

I read an article today about how men masturbate on the subway. The woman who wrote the article was asking them to stop doing it. She lived in New York and said that every woman she knew had witnessed a man masturbating on a subway. I have seen it a few times. I’ve seen it on the street too. It’s usually indigents and they are most likely very intoxicated. I can one up this woman and say that I have seen two women (besides myself) masturbate on the subway. Both were very drunk. One I remember very clearly was wearing a dirty pink sweat suit under a tan trench coat. It was about 2am and she was flipping herself off while the guy in the seat in front of her did himself. They were watching each other. It was gross and they acted like animals. I was around 19 at the time and thought I was invincible. I got out of my seat and ran to another car. They were looking at me too and I was scared.

I remember getting on at Jackson and off at Belmont. Where I lived was not as hoity toity as it is now. Rent was cheap and there was a crack house on the corner. Still it was a white, yuppie neighborhood and people sneered at me when I got off. Now even if I had a lot of money I wouldn’t live in that area. It is too rich and snotty. I like the Humboldt Park/Bucktown area I live in now even though it’s snotty too. There is still that element of art alive there. People don’t look down at me for what I do. They think its cool that I take off my clothes and masturbate on the train.

Hopefully I have made it cool to flash and masturbate in public places so that its not just the indigent and drunks who do it anymore. That too is a fantasy of mine, to make something cool to do just because I do it. To be influential is something that I would love. It’s power but it’s also daring others to express themselves and not to take themselves so seriously. Life is too short to worry about it all the time we need to have more fun. Have fun and masturbate in a train!

I used to love Christmas. I loved giving and getting. I loved all the lights and decorations. I loved the music and celebration. I loved that we are allowed to eat much more than normal. And I loved being together as a family.

Now, it’s hard to love this holiday. I watch television and see commercials for cars, diamonds, flat screen tv’s, computers and more. All this costs thousands and thousands of dollars. Can most of the country afford to buy their loved ones Lexus SUV’s? Am I missing something and in the minority?

It has lost it’s magic for me. This holiday is no longer about family or celebration it’s all about gifts and showing off. Most of the gifts I’m giving this year are more about what that person means to me and how much I value our relationship. I spent money yes but I spent more time thinking, planning and creating. But it seems like it’s all a waste of time since no one will appreciate it as much as if I bought them a Lexus.

How can we compete with the commercials and TVLand? We can’t, it’s impossible. I can hardly watch tv anymore. Thank goodness for DVR’s I usually record all the shows I watch and fast-forward through the commercials.

This is almost directly related to what has been happening to me. I gained weight and it’s not a big deal but when people point it out the only reason they are doing so is because the media has taught us that skinny is good and fat is bad. Like they are telling us now rich is good and poor is bad. I’m not fat, I am no where near fat, but I am not thin like most of the women on television and in commercials. Once again commercials sell the impossible: skinny women chugging Miller Genuine Draft is not a reality. Go to a bar and tell me which women are chugging beer.

It’s a shame. Whenever someone calls me fat though I don’t get angry I feel sorry for them because they are stupid. It’s sad that they buy into this crap. Just as sad as being told that people actually buy each other Lexus SUV’s for Christmas on a regular basis. That is not for regular people.

I am happy the way that I am. My tits are much bigger and my ass is rounder. If I don’t get back down to what I was before I’m not going to be unhappy and quit, I’ll keep going. I’m having way too much fun doing this and I want to make sure I keep having fun.

So have fun this holiday and try not to let the commercials bother you. If you are one of those lucky people who can buy a Lexus SUV for a loved one, good for you, why don’t you donate some money to me and help me out!

This is the last picture from Score.

Next I will put up some of the much neglected Horror Hound pictures. As usual, I had a friend take some pictures of me stranded naked in the hotel hallway! Then there is this one of me and my handsome fan that I couldn’t wait on. Now that I know his identity I can post his picture.

It’s only 12 days until Christmas. I’m so stressed out, I still have to gifts to make, three now, I told the girl at Score I would make her a baby blanket. But I can make that the week after Christmas. Before you go, “why did you tell her that?”, I love making baby blankets! I made one for Christy Canyon remember? It means more to me that she loves that and mentions the blanket more than she mentions the skirts I made for her. Baby blankets are the one thing I am really good at, actually I’m good at all blankets and couch covers, chair covers, curtains and anything else you can do with fabric for the home. I like to mix and match patterns and textures which is not always a good idea when designing for the body. Plus, most shapes are square and that is much easier to sew than an armhole or a collar.

Other than that, like many, I fall prey to holiday depression as much as anyone else. It’s hard not to especially when there isn’t enough money to get what you want for your family and friends. I would love to buy my sister the digital camera she wants and a ticket to Miami so she can come with me when I go shoot for Bang. I think she needs a vacation. It would be fun for us to get away someplace tropical during the winter. I’m going to try to take her in March.

I also need to change my thinking. Too many times during the day I find myself biting my nails nervous about what will happen tomorrow. If I will be broke next week. If I will end up alone and unhappy when am old. It’s scary. I read all the time that you have to choose to be happy. I choose to be happy, but putting that choice into practice is much harder to do. It’s hard to stop being addicted to negative thinking. It’s much easier to think things are going to go badly than to think they will go well. If they don’t go well you are stuck with disappointment. If they do go well you are happily surprised.

Hey, I’m really happy most of the time. The holiday’s just brings me down a little. Mostly I can’t handle the money and the family obligations. Plus, Chicago is soooo FUCKING cold! I need to figure out what I’m going to do as far as winters are concerned. I can’t stand being this cold all the time!

Many of you have emailed me asking me what I want for Christmas. Thank you for thinking of me. Mostly, I would love donations. I also have an amazon wishlist and the link is on the right sidebar of this page. You don’t have to get me anything. Just jerk it daily and I will be happy!

I’m really amused that you guys like the Score pictures so much. Usually I am told I look better without all the pomp and circumstance of wardrobe and makeup. But I do agree that these are fun. Enjoy this close ups.

I wrote this a while ago and I want to post it even though it’s over with. I’ve already gone to Miami and we are in the middle of an ice storm. It’s very cold and the roads are dangerous. I have one last shopping trip to make and then I am finished with Christmas. I also just got word from BangBros and will be shooting for them in January. This means I am on my way!
Here is that old post:

It’s so cold here! It snowed yesterday as I was driving home from the mall. The snow turned to ice and the roads had to be salted. The other day I was talking to a woman visiting from Alabama. She was inside and had gloves on. She told me I had thick blood. I never understood that sentiment. I grew up with pretty harsh winters and every year I want to move someplace warm. But there is no place like Chicago. The next best thing is New York and it’s just as cold if not colder! I would love to try San Francisco but who knows if I can hack the living expenses. But growing up with harsh winters doesn’t make your blood thicker does it? It just makes it expected. I still hate the cold.

Miami will be wonderful, I only wish I could stay longer. If I know me I will spend very little time out and most of the time resting so I can give them my best. I am getting my hair done tomorrow and am not eating for the rest of the time I’m home until I leave. It’s not like I’ll lose much weight but I might loose a little off my face. If Samantha can be the hottest model in Score so can I. She can be the hottest blond and I’ll be the hottest brunette.

I gave my card to a cute mechanic the other day. I was explaining what I do and who I am. We got to talking about what men really like and he said that men liked curvy women. So I’ve been beating myself up for gaining weight and I looked at the recent pictures of me and there isn’t too much of a difference. I also have a nicer ass and cuter tummy. Best thing is my boobs are bigger. I do like being smaller but I’m not going to kill myself to get there again.

I had a boyfriend that liked thin girls. I’ve never been thin I’ve always been voluptuous so why he was with me is most likely due to the fact that I gave good head and had big boobs. I remember he had lots of black friends because of where he worked. I was always inviting them over and trying to get together because they were nicer to me than his white friends. My ex was racist but his best friend was Mexican and he hung around a bunch of black guys and his girlfriend was voluptuous. I think he was in the closet about not being racist. But he attracted white racist friends and they were mostly assholes.

He told me once, and this got me mad, that black men like big women in the winter because they keep them warm. In the summer they go for the smaller women. I yelled at him for an hour hoping that wasn’t true only to have him bring home one if his friends who was black who in fact confirmed my boyfriends statement. So I guess my bed is warm.

I am almost done with my holiday shopping. All I have to do is buy one more piece of fabric for one of the things I am making. I know that the people I am making the gifts for might read this so I can’t go into detail but I will say that I am outdoing myself once again. I put a lot of thought into my gifts and I hope that they are appreciated.

I remember when I found out that gift giving was just as selfish as gift receiving. I found out in AA. I found out a lot of things I didn’t like in AA. AA told me that no matter what I did I was a bad person. I interpreted it differently up until I left. I was happy in AA with people who seemed to be doing well and wanted to better themselves. It wasn’t until I started dating that I realized that people in AA were no different that people who were not in AA. People in AA just thought they had a license to act ridiculous and crazy because they had a disease. Now this is only a small fraction of the people in AA. There are a lot of good people who are doing great and want to help. But there seemed to be some that thought they were above normal people and they told me things that I really didn’t like.

I know that I get off giving gifts. I know that I want to give the best gifts and want to make people happy. It makes me happy. In AA we were told that wanting that happiness was selfish. In order to be good and to reach enlightenment one needed to be completely selfless. I hated this. However true it might be I don’t think we are meant to not feel this type of selfish happiness.

I thought about it a lot and came up with this selfish happiness must be my wanting something out of it all. That me giving gifts must mean that I want the people I give the gifts to to like me more and that is selfish therefore the gift giving is not selfless and that is why it is wrong. It makes my head spin and it is a moral dilemma that I don’t want to have to deal with so I figure I will just ignore it and keep being selfish.

I left AA because I didn’t want to be part of the group anymore. I didn’t want to have to answer to anyone nor did I want to have to go to meetings and maintain that I had a problem. It helps a lot of people and is a really good program to help one get sober. But it’s not for me.

What is for me is camouflage! This is the second outfit I wore at the Score shoot!
Enjoy.

Working at Score requires a lot of wardrobe, hair and makeup changes. Here is one of my favorite outfits of this trip.

This outfit was the first outfit I wore the second day. I asked one of the girls to take a picture for me. We filmed a solo in a trailer. I worked with Hector who is an amazing photographer and one day I can see him being very famous. He has a temper but at the same time he tells me how beautiful and good I am. So despite him getting angry at least I know he is being honest.

Originally I felt a little fat before I went on this trip. But one of the head women at the magazine told me she wanted me back in a month and not to lose any weight. She said I am the perfect Voluptuous model. She is my new best friend.
After my scene with J-Mac, Score execs said my breasts looked so perfect shaking while I was being rocked that they don’t want me to lose any of the jiggle.

I have to go home today. I don’t want to go back to the cold but I do want to get back and get my Christmas shopping done. I also want to schedule the shoots with Bang and Reality Kings and try to get to AVN. One shoot went south for me for technical reasons this trip. Score is the only company that requires an AIM test (meaning they will not take a doctors test–this I didn’t know). Mine was from my doctor which they made an exception for but it was almost expired so today all I get to do is solos which pay considerably less. I feel bad because I should have been more on top of this. I didn’t know 30 days had gone by and the girls at Score didn’t check with me before I came so I think we both were lax about this. It fucks with my perfect track record with them and I hope the videos make up for it. But I hinted to you yesterday that I was having problems and that didn’t help either. I’m not going to tell you what they are you can read about them if I write a book but they are scary and I have been on the edge of my seat for weeks. They could have affected my performance.

I got to fuck J-Mac yesterday. If you recall he was the guy I fucked the first day I was here in August. The man has one of the best cocks I have ever had the pleasure to get injected with. I told him to be gentle and he was but at the same time he was really turning me on. I used my body language to let him know he could turn it up a notch and he did. Wow!

Last time the model with me distracted him. She was younger, tanner, had fake tits and thinner. It was hard to have him looking at her and not me. When you need to turn the guy on it’s easier if they pay attention to you. This time he was all about me. There was supposed to be another guy involved but he had a few issues. It was his first time and he was so sweet. I felt bad for him and told him to keep my card handy and the next time I was here I would use him for my site. He wasn’t cocky and he truly was unhappy that he couldn’t fuck me. But this stuff happens all the time and to the best of them. Before we changed the scene and I was tending to the other patient (oh yeah I was a nurse..holy shit you guys are going to flip when you see this outfit!), J-Mac would slap my ass and squeeze my tit. It got me really creamy and I let him slide it in when ever he felt like it sucking in the other cock trying my best to get it stiff.

When it was just to two of us J-Mac and I were totally in-sync. Again, I couldn’t hear directions all I could hear was his breathing and the slapping of our bodies together. It felt really good and gushes of cum came out of my pussy. Two cameras were on us and I came and came screaming and screaming with each orgasm. J-Mac said little things like, “You like my cock inside you?” or “Does my cock feel good slamming your pussy?” Every word made me come harder.

Finally he finished spraying my face and tits getting his juice into my mouth and onto my chin. I was instructed to rub it all over my boobs but I always do that plus I lick it off.

Good thing I wrote that, now I’m ready for today!

Miami is paradise when Chicago is under 8 inches of snow. Only 12 hours ago I was stuffed into a down-filled quilted coat with the hood up trying to not to let snowflakes make my mascara run while I stood in line for the sky cap. Six hours after that I was fetching the bag marked with the “Heavy” sticker in a short-sleeved shirt, sweating.

I had to wait two hours for the hotel shuttle on the curb of the departures level but I didn’t mind because it was beautiful weather. I was put out because I needed to get to the hotel and shave, give myself a facial, deep condition my hair, tweeze my eye brows, paint my toenails…shit I have a lot to do!

It’s the morning… I did all that after I realized I forgot my razor and had to walk to CVS and get one. Then I passed out. I’m cold this morning. Nervous cause last time I came here they fawned over all the other girls. I need to be hispanic to get respect from hair and makeup. But I had a long pep-talk with Samantha 38G last night and I feel much better. Do yourself a favor and go watch her on BigTitsRoundAsses.com. She looks amazing! I only hope I look that good today. I can’t do the sexy looks like her, I look best smiling and pretty.

Well cross your fingers and wish me luck. Without getting into too much detail, I was feeling a bit under the weather earlier and wasn’t up to performing. I just need to make it through the next two days then I can relax until January. If things go south, I will tell you why. But I need you to wish me well and send out good vibes so I can get through this these tough two days.

I went to court yesterday because of a car accident in September. If you need reminding here is the original post. This was the second time I went to court for this accident. The first time…read this post to get up to speed on that.

The same lady was there which I anticipated so I hired a lawyer. No one else showed up not even the cop who gave me the ticket. My call time was 3pm but we were not called until a little after 4pm. The prosecutor at one point went to the lady and asked her what her grievance was. I didn’t hear what she said nor did the prosecutor share it with my lawyer but I did hear her raise her voice, whine and flail her arms about. I knew she was kooky but I would have loved to know what she said and better yet watched her say it. I kinda of like it when people loose their cool.

My lawyer told me that what the prosecutor had to prove was that I was driving the car that was at the rear of the collision. I was. He said that was very easy to prove and it was most likely that we would lose. He didn’t want me to say anything, he said he wasn’t going to have me answer any questions and the prosecutor couldn’t call me.

When we were called the prosecutor started asking questions and every single answer my lawyer objected and was sustained. The lady couldn’t conclude or finalize without basis or proof and she didn’t have it. Then when it came to her interaction with me she said I got out of a gray or pewter colored car with the engine on the ground in front of it. Well the engine wasn’t on the ground and my car was dark green. So my lawyer asked her if she was sure that the car was gray or pewter and the he asked her what I said to her and she said that I said I was sorry. Those were pretty much the only questions he asked. The real fight was when the prosecutor was asking questions and he got all of them sustained. It was brutal! The woman was asked why she was here and she said that she had been rear-ended three times this year and she was sick and tired of people not paying attention. Problem was I didn’t rear-end her. She couldn’t even identify what the car behind her was. I knew each car model, make and color, I also knew the names of the other people and their insurance company. I’m not obsessed, I’m prepared-it’s important to be prepared.

I was found not guilty. The woman was livid. She wanted to know if she could call the other drivers to testify. The judge said they all were sent notices and chose not to show. She then said that her car was worth half of what it was when she bought it because of all the accidents. Someone never told this lady that cars start decreasing in value as soon as it’s driven off the lot accident or not. Anyway she had a chip on her shoulder and she took it out on me. Now she can’t sue me outside for anything else because I was found not guilty. If this kook goes on some campaign and writes letters to the other victims I’m gonna crap on her ugly Scion.

I have never had anything against Lawyers and this guy was well worth his fee. I am very impressed. But at the same time I understand this lady’s frustration but it just goes to show you that if you are going to go after someone in court you need to get all the facts straight. What’s even worse is that she had a guy in the car with her who was running around looking at all the damage. As soon as he heard the paramedic’s sirens he jumped into the car and claimed injury and went to the hospital in a neck brace. Why didn’t he come and support her? It just doesn’t add up so I can’t feel for this woman.

I’m glad I won here’s a little celebratory picture.

FC left a great comment! It’s good to hear from you FC you should comment more often. I also love that John tried to send people to DC for me instead of where I really am. Letting the audio stand on that video is dangerous especially with that girl Zoey Zane’s murder. That is really sad she was so pretty and so young. I don’t understand murder.

It’s good to hear from Steve too. It has been too long but I can’t go on and chat like I once did. I don’t have the time like I used to. I miss chatting with you but it’s the price we have to pay.

Welcome to all you new guys! I doubt I’ll be on Rude anytime soon. It’s too crowded in there. I have enough going on here.

I am getting ready for Miami. Tonight I will get my hair done, eyebrows waxed and body tanned. I’m not as tan as I was the first time but I think it will be a welcome change seeing me white. I think maybe I’ll buy some new lingerie too.

I shot a scene with the Army guy on Friday and I can still feel him between my legs. His powerful army dick pumped my pussy into pulsing perfection and I can’t get over how good it felt. I just got wet writing that sentence. Oh Army Guy!!! He also bit my nipples hard enough for me to feel it all day and remember. I don’t like being bitten but he pretty much can do what ever he wants to me.

I hope I get some nice boys in Miami. They don’t have to be great looking but I do want them to be nice. No macho men like last time, I don’t need them proving anything to me. I just need a nice guy and a hard cock!

On a low note I have court today. This is the day I get to go back with a lawyer because the lady driving the Scion decided to make sure the case didn’t get dismissed and I had to pay the fines. Wish me luck.

New pictures!!!!! Enjoy!