Last night I dined with three extremely intelligent men. One being the EP, the two others: Allan MacDonell and Josh Alan Friedman. Allan I had met a year before and Josh I had only heard about through the EP. Allan wrote Prisioner of X and Josh wrote I, Goldstein: My Screwed Life.

The table in the restaurant with the three really smart guys is the best table in the house. At one point I was intimidated even, when asked how old I thought Josh was. Josh got me out of answering the question and if I answered I’d be right on the money anyway. Guessing Allan’s age would have been harder. I don’t think he is as old as he thinks he looks. If he died his hair he could pass for 10 years younger. But I like salt and pepper hair with glasses, it’s sexy. Sexier is when smart stuff comes out of any man’s mouth regardless of age.

I’m sure they thought I was cute and nothing more. It makes for a much more interesting evening sometimes when I am not the center of attention. And after the week I’ve had I’d rather not talk about myself or thank the appreciation of my natural double d’s. So I get to be the ogler and sit in awe of somebodies that have had a life that you only read about in books. I had an ironic moment? Or an epiphany? What is it when you actually meet the person you wanted to meet 20 years ago and never thought you would because you couldn’t imagine your life going in that direction? 20 years ago I didn’t know the names of the three men at my table but I knew they existed. They were the men that went to the peep shows and swear they have no more juice left because it’s all a permanent part of times square. They’ve lived the life I saw in movies that I thought was made up. (I didn’t think men would frequent these places or actually jerk-off to a girl behind a glass wall and live to tell about it.) And, they all deserve the right to use fifty-cent words and write esoterically.

I complain constantly about not understanding the EP but that’s what I like the most about it too. Being a part of his life has given me the right to criticize and the comfort I get from knowing that makes me OK with a lot of things in my life that suck. When I was in a couple, I used to think that I would be alone if I didn’t have my boyfriend. In many ways I’m more together with the EP than I was with my boy even though I’m not married or in love, love with the EP. He makes it easier to sleep at night.

Back when porn was being born these men gave it the life it had and then lost it by growing up and getting married. The EP isn’t married but he doesn’t live a dangerous life anymore. He is still exciting but very careful. When he wasn’t I wouldn’t have lasted 20 minutes with him. Lucky that I met him now.

I think both Allan and Josh are married. I know they are because they talked about their wives. Most likely they don’t watch porn anymore and if they do it isn’t as frequent as it used to be. Porn is almost unwatchable now. It’s fast and brutal. Almost like the nightly news but not quite as bad. They don’t talk as much in gonzo porn making it a bit easier to watch than the news (know that this is my opinion and not something I think everyone should know). Why watch it? Because every now and then you find something great. The way I feel about gonzo is the way people felt about porn when it first came out. So I give it a chance and I’m not always disappointed.

The topic of how porn isn’t porn anymore was brought up by one of the questions that a yuppie hipster asked. I hated everyone there except people I knew. I’m dangerous in literary situations. I was describing the night to a friend of mine and I used the words yuppie drawl. People who talk carefully and slowly about politics and freedom make me vomit. It’s because I’m jealous I know. Whatever, I don’t read the paper or watch the news so I’m an idiot. I’ve done more living by not knowing what was going on in the world than I did when I did know. I have an idea and I know enough. You can’t go through a day without knowing what stupid thing Bush said that week. Nor can you go through a day without seeing pictures of old women in thongs. STOP!

The important thing to note is that all three men are men that I would be honored to fuck. I would be honored to sit next to them. More importantly, I would have done so before I got naked on this blog. They are sexy and exciting. What they did in the past makes them who they are but bears no resemblance to what society said they would be (dead). They are normal and abnormal at the same time and proud papa’s of great works of art.
Ah…I digress. Intelligence is an endangered animal. I was with three of the almost extinct cats last night and…..it was awesome! Oh yeah and I had the lasagne at Salerno’s, it was awesome too.

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Procrastinating! I swear I will come up with anything to put off packing. Last night I invited a few friends over to go through my stuff and see if they wanted anything. I ended up getting rid of all my spices (I’m a spice freak I have so many spices. I admit it’s weird), some pots and pans, all my silver wear (I kept my knives), curlers, makeup, tea, some clothing, and more. Julie Fab came and she mentioned to me before I give all my CD’s away that I should try to sell them on Amazon. I figured that they were all unsellable because during my party years I used many of them as coasters and Frisbees. So I started going through them and separated all the undamaged ones from the damaged ones. I spent the rest of the night checking them on Amazon. I have a CD worth $50! The rest were all around $8 but Hey that’s good money! I own Soul to Soul’s Keep on Movin’ that is not on the site but the single is and it’s worth $18.99. So I’m thinking that the entire album would be worth the same if not more right? So I think I’ll auction it off. I haven’t even started going through my books! I was up until 3am doing this. Bad girl! I need a spanking!

I have the TV on as I am packing and Celebrity Eye Candy is on. This show is usually pretty funny and is mostly about Paris Hilton which is annoying but the girl is stupid and does something dumb at least 100 times a day. They also do little song montages to things like celebrities picking their noses, flipping the bird, making funny faces and having sweat marks. Now if you read this on a regular basis you know that pretty much everything turns me on even gross stuff. It’s my thing and normal. I write about it so that people who think that they are weird or bad for getting turned on by things that aren’t normal don’t feel alone. So what turned me on? Well this is weird and almost pornographic for VH1. During their sweat montage which was gross, I do like sweat but only on the people I want to fuck, they showed a picture of Cameron Diaz in a workout outfit. I couldn’t see sweat anywhere and I wasn’t listening so I re-wound the show (thank you DVR) and they were singing about the sweat between her thighs. I’m not so sure that turned me on but I was amazed that it was on TV! I mean they basically pointed out that she creamed herself! And that turned me on! Cameron Diaz bores me a but since she broke up with Justin I like her a little better (I want Justin Timberlake), but the sweat between her thighs makes me appreciate her even more!

Ah back to packing! If you want to view the CD’s I have on sale go here. Buy something! Oh and I need your feedback on my Zine idea. Please let me know what you think and if you want one. I’m planning on making this my first issue. What do you think?

OK to the packing–UGH!!!!

More of me and April Flores.

I’m packing today and I hate it. I remember when I moved into this apartment thinking that I never wanted to move again. And I had movers! This is going to be so hard. I’m throwing so much stuff away and selling some stuff too. I just can’t throw books away, it’s like a mortal sin to me. I am throwing away music. I’ve told a few people to get over here and take my CD’s if they want them. Whatever isn’t grabbed up by my friends is going in the garbage. I just don’t listen to CD’s anymore. Everything is on my iPod or computer. Clothes are going too.

I can’t wait for this move to be over. Then there will be the move to LA but I can worry about that later. Wish me luck that all this goes smoothly.

Last night I got a little nookie. Well, a little isn’t the word to describe what I got last night. When I was in my teens and early 20’s I remember never getting head. It wasn’t like I had gotten a lot of it so I had no idea what I was missing. Last night I got enough head to make up for my entire 18th year of getting none. He sucked me so well and my clit was throbbing so hard. I must have cum all over his face a few times. It was a wonderful way to spend the second to last night in my apartment. We fucked so much we had to get the lube out because I was getting sore. He had a very nice sized penis and told me that no girl has ever been able to get as much of it in their mouth as me. But my secret is, and I have to give Jenna Jameson a little credit for this, I get it deep enough so the thicker saliva from the back of my mouth gets all over and makes it easier to slide my mouth up and down the penis. Jenna Jameson writes in her book that this is one of the ways to give good head. I had already been doing it but not consciously and not every time. Now I do it every time. It’s like mouth cum, the deeper the penis goes the wetter I get. Kind of gives meaning to the movie Deep Throat. That’s what I do in order to get the penis wet enough for a good sucking. I had to give back for that fantastic head he kept giving me.

Sex was amazing. He fucked me for at least an hour, I can’t remember nor did I keep track of time. He fucked me into another dimension and then ate me out when he got too close to cumming so he could keep on fucking me. And somehow he constantly played with my nipples. It’s really weird to applaud after sex so I didn’t but I wanted to.

My legs are almost to shaky to move around today. I’m pretty sure he reads this so I hope he knows that I want him to come back for more. Until then I will continue to day dream about the many orgasms I had last night and keep taking breaks to masturbate.

Bummer…back to packing.

I am keeping my cat and elated. Sometimes every thing works out! Thanks for all the nice emails and loving comments!

Have some pussy!!!!

Some of you know what is going on with me right now, others don’t. I usually only like to post fun stuff but right now I have nothing fun to write. I have been put in an awful situation, one that is forcing me to give my cat away. I’m moving out of my apartment for a little bit and staying with a friend. This is not because I can’t pay rent or anything, but I’d rather not get into the situation in any detail. You can email me for more info if you’d like. I promised myself that this wouldn’t happen again. A while ago I had to give a cat away because my roommate was allergic. My cat went to my best friend so I saw him all the time and he was happier because there were other cats to play with. Now my friend has moved away and I can’t ask her. My sister’s husband refuses to take the cat, he doesn’t like me because of what I do.

It’s forcing me to give Soupy away. I’m a bit devastated.

Here’s my baby…

I found out today that I need to find a place to live in 2 days for 2 weeks. It’s a long story and a huge inconvenience. I’m sure everything will work out in the end but the fact that I have to start packing now in order to be out of here by Friday puts my work on hold. That means I make no money! I will be sporadically writing the blog so if you miss me blame the move that is totally out of my control.

I started transcribing the Fred Olen Ray interview. I actually learned something when I interviewed him which is really cool and the best kind of interview to have. I really liked him too. He has had an interesting life and he is so good at what he does. Producers call him and give him total control over the production that they hired him to do. For all of you that want to be great directors that is what you are striving for. Fred may not have made blockbuster movies but he sure made some of my favorites. I was thinking about doing a video based on Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers. I think that would be so much fun. If you haven’t seen the movie you should.

When I first saw Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers I realized that movies can be made for the sake of making them. I spent so many years thinking that movies had to have a message and an importance. I was very snobby toward anything Hollywood or anything that had T&A in it. Then I saw Michelle Bauer’s boobs and thought, it really is necessary to have tits in the movies. How can we waste such a beautiful chest by having it covered up? So in a sense Fred Olen Ray and Michell Bauer had quite a bit to do with me disrobing for the camera.

Fred told me the chances of me getting an interview with Michelle Bauer were nil which breaks my heart. So maybe I’ll writ a retrospective piece on her. She really was fun to watch and still is. You could say she is my favorite actress in non-porn as Christy Canyon is in porn. It would be a beautiful thing to meet Michelle Bauer and get to third base with her like I did with Christy. I will keep on hoping and wishing.

I’d like to know what you guys think of my idea of writing Zines? I was going to start with the Road to Christy Canyon Blog and make a series. For cost purposes I would only have one picture in each issue. The covers would be hand made just like the video packaging is. Any more ideas? Would you buy them for $12 to$20? I really want to do this I think it would be a lot of fun!

Gays in the Military will be performing at the Empty Bottle on Cortez and Western at 10pm. It’s FREE! I will be topless!

Please come and see me!

I got a call from my friend Niva yesterday to come to Art Ketchum’s studio for a photo shoot. This is the first time I worked with either of them and the photo’s are beautiful. I have the photo’s Niva took and will be getting the ones Art took soon. Niva is the photographer for a magazine called Midwest Beat and asked me to do some writing for them. My first assignment will be to interview Michael McDermott a very gorgeous singer. I will be interviewing him at his May 10th show. He is playing at the Chicago Historical society.

Tonight I will be dancing or rollerskating at the Empty Bottle with Gays in the Military! I would love it if all you Chicagoans could come and cheer me on! It’s short notice I know. Please come anyway, I’ll have pictures to hand out if you do!

I’m also going to start writing Zines. Each one will include part of the blogs so keep on the look out for them. I think I will start out with the Road to Christy Canyon blog and do a series of Zines on that. I’m again going to hand make all the books so I am very excited about this new project I’m starting!

Finally, thank you all who have bought the Video so far. For those of you who bought it in the last week I still have yet to find anyone to copy it for me so I am probably going to have to spend the money on the burner myself. That means I need more people to buy it!!!! So do me a favor and buy my video! I promise you will love it.

For those of you who subscribe to the site and get the newsletter, I’m running a little late. But do not fret it will be out momentarily. I also have a great picture to send you–nice pussy shot that I found the other day while going through some old discs. For those of you who do not subscribe to the site and don’t get the newsletter, I send one out once a week with a free full size picture. The newsletter is filled with news that I don’t put on the site blog about anything I feel like sharing. If you would like to receive the newsletter enter your email into the box under the Mailing List on the right hand side of this site.

Last night I went to a wet t-shirt contest at Bar Chicago with Ron Jeremy and his friends. I guess I am part of his entourage. There were 8 of us and Ron found a cute chick and added her. Unfortunately for him she came with a guy. I often wonder what he is thinking when he invites these girls who are obviously attached to a dude. Plus, I have yet to see him get one in bed, but I’ve only been with him when he is here or I am in LA. His manager and he were talking about all the times he gets laid so I guess it happens. I ended up cuddling with his friend. We also danced topless together at the club. During the wet t-shirt contest we stood up on a platform teasing Ron by flashing him while he was MC-ing the contest. He pointed us out to the crowd at one point and we danced mushing our tits together. She was a lot of fun yet she doesn’t live here but I sure wish she did. I forgot how much I love the soft touch of another woman. The sweetness of the kiss from a female and the warmth of their breath on my skin. It’s nice and Ron is a saint for bringing it back to me.

So please be patient, I will have the newsletter out soon and hopefully before I go to bed tonight. this picture is a repeat but I wanted to put it up because a very talented pen pal of mine gave it what he likes to call the Maxim Treatment.

A while ago a photographer named Buzz took some pictures of me. He took all the pictures of me posing like Christy Canyon. We shot over 2 days and had a blast. It was my first professional shoot. Not that Julie Fab isn’t a professional but she is more of a media artist (brilliant media artist at that) and doesn’t concentrate on Photography alone. I still love her the best but I like the pictures that photographers take of me too. Buzz’s site Gumball Zeta is filled with pictures of the girls he has photographed. I wonder why I’m not on his site but I think he likes redheads a lot. Still it would be nice to see my on his site. So Buzz if you still read me maybe you could email me and tell me why I’m not on your site.

Despite his not promoting me I still will promote him. He takes beautiful pictures and I highly recommend him if you need a photographer. I have a disc with over 100 pictures that he took of me and I’m going through it to make a new gallery. I found this picture and I had to put it up. I love it. The black satin g-string I’m wearing is one of my favorite pieces of underwear. I love the feel of it on my skin. G-strings are fun and I end up playing with them when I wear them. Once I went on a date with a guy and wore this particular g-string. I also wore a skirt and I remember sitting in the restaurant and tugging on the string all night. I pulled on it tight and side to side so the silky satin would rub against my clit. My date had no idea. He talked a lot. I just pretended to listen. What he didn’t know was that all my nodding and mmm hmm’s were just reactions from me giving myself pleasure by pulling the g-string this way and that. In the bathroom I stuck my finger in my pussy and pulled the g-string hard to make myself cum. My g-string was wet all the rest of the night and I occasionally stuck my fingers in during dinner and licked them. I tasted better than the food at the restaurant. In the end, my date didn’t cum but I did.

I never saw him again. But I have to say I did have fun that night. I wonder what he would think if he knew what was really going on.

I’m writing the first interview of the LA trip. It was a 50 minute recorded interview with Anna Biller. She is fascinating and I’m enjoying going back through the conversation. On average it takes me 4-6 hours to transcribe 60 minutes. It depends on the quality of the recording and how clearly the people speak. Anna has the diction I dream about. She speaks carefully and clearly. Her voice is very lovely and soothing. I was lucky with her. Last night I transcribed an interview that had taken me almost 12 hours. It was recorded over my cell phone, a mistake I don’t want to make again but may have to since it’s the only phone I have.

A few posts ago I was complaining about not being able to get back into the swing of things. Well yesterday my energy came back with a vengeance. Before I left for LA I didn’t have the time to make Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn skirts. I was so busy that I didn’t have time to come up with anything really cool and worthy of them. On the plane ride back I dreamed about the skirts and yesterday I finished Ginger’s. I’m so proud of it and I hope she likes it. I emailed Christy that I had run out of time and that I would send the skirts to the studio. She replied that she understood the concept of not having enough time and said she couldn’t wait to get hers. She also said for me to tell you all who are waiting for her next book that it may come out as soon as next year but to please understand that she is incredibly busy and trying her best.

This isn’t the best picture of the skirt but it gives you the idea. Of course it’s 100% silk, I always use silk. It’ was much easier to design the skirt after meeting Ginger Lynn. I usually get inspiration from the people themselves.

Also, I made some more packaging for the Naked Video. If you are wondering why the shipping is so much this pictures should explain.

No two are a like and I think about each recipient as I make them. So you are getting more than just a video you are getting my design as well. If you would like a package like this I will always be able to make one but soon I will have regular pre-printed DVD inserts and cases. and incidentally it takes me 30 minutes to make each one and that is if I’m going fast.

So really, what’s holding you back? If you havne’t already, buy my Naked Video today!

Now back to work!

Check out my Skinterview with Nadja Bjorlin!

For some reason they didn’t credit me but the question “What was it like to have such powerful machinery between your legs?” was all me and the rest too. I was soooo excited to interview Chloe Lane, it’s was awesome!

Listen to music and take it’s advice? If you do I want to know to what song and why. Seems like I didn’t learn from music. I should start a forum for these questions but I don’t so comment. Please.

I know some of you hate hearing about mundane shit but I have to bitch about my last cab ride. It was partially my fault but none the less, do not fall prey to cab drivers telling you they can’t take credit cards. I guess my get out of jail free card with cabs was used up January when I got a free cab ride in exchange for porn dvd’s that I happened to have on me. I don’t know why that would be considered a free ride since I had to engage the guy with mindless talk about blow jobs and anal. Plus, I gave him good porn no tranny porn which I have an abundance of (it’s neato) just simply because I didn’t feel like being mean (straight guys always freak out when they are attracted to chicks with dicks).

Back to tonight. I picked up my parents from the airport in their car and took a cab home. Usually this time of night a cab costs about $35. Well I forgot my wallet in my mom’s car. So we had to go back to the airport and wait for my parents to do the same. I told the cabbie he could leave and eat the $13 fare if he wanted and he proceeded to get another fare. Then he asked me for the, by this time, $15. I said how could I when I don’t have my wallet, idiot. I guess he didn’t have a great command of the English language. So he kicked the new fare out who yelled at him. By the time my parents arrived the fare was at $29.

We drove back and argued a bit about where to get off the highway. It doesn’t really matter but I prefer to get off at Western to get to my house rather than Division. Western is a straight shot whereas with Division you have to backtrack (one way streets). He got to my house and the fare was $60. I asked him to take my credit card. He moaned that he needed cash because the credit card company charges him four dollars. I said fine charge me four and I’ll give you four dollars extra cash. He still wanted cash. Basically he wouldn’t take the card when I stuck it in his face. So I gave him the exact fare and he was all bent out of shape because he had to do all that waiting and I wouldn’t tip. I said if you take my credit card I’ll tip you. He was silent so I threw four bucks at him and told him he should take credit cards like he’s supposed to. Fucker!

Yeah I know I should stood my ground and insisted he take the credit card but I’m tired or I was, now I’m all riled up. Fucker!

See here’s the problem I figured I’d get a check while I was gone. I usually get paid two weeks after I hand in an article. I didn’t. either the mail screwed up or the magazine did. I’m not telling you which magazine, I work for others besides MrSkin. Well, I needed this check, the $64 I just gave the cabbie was all I had. So now I have nothing. I sold a few movies but paypal takes a few days to hit my account so I have no money. LA wiped me out. When in Rome…and I’m glad I did spend all that money cause I had a blast and I’d rather be poor here than in LA, right. This usually doesn’t happen I have at least a few bucks when I’m at my lowest and now I don’t so it’s pretty scary.

I’m not trying to get you to send me money but I wont refuse it. No, I’m just bitching at the shitty cab driver I got. I doubt it costs $4 for him to take a card. He just wanted my $60 in cash.

Ugh!!!!

And to the magazine that didn’t pay me, shame on them. Freelancers count on checks coming on time. It’s been this way since the beginning. I’m branching out and going to write for other mags. Preferably ones that will pay my airfare and hotel’s. I will always love and work for Mr Skin but I can’t live on the small amount they give me. Plus Skin doesn’t promote my site on his front page, something about not promoting porn. I guess Playboy, Hustler and Danni.com aren’t porn (what the fuck?) Why not do porn movies you ask. I could, but I don’t want to make a career out of it. I am a writer and will always be a writer not a fuck film star.

Now write a book I will do….. Here’s my ass in pink fishnets at the Vibe hotel. Picture taken by Carlos Batts.

I’m finally at my apartment once again ready to begin working. I was supposed to get a bunch done this weekend but I had a friend who has marital problems and I took care of her. I want to re-state why I am against marriage, it’s not that I don’t believe in it I just don’t think I’m ready for it. I was when I was in my twenties but thank goodness I didn’t do it. Even at my mature stage when I was n my early 20’s (thats laughable) I still would have been divorced by now. As much as I loved my finance I would later fall out of love and wish I wouldn’t have put forth so much effort toward a dead-end relationship. I would have been an adulterer and a lier by the third year I’m positive. The marriage would have been only for security and fear that I would be alone forever. Not true. I am less alone without a man in my life than I was with one.

It was due to a lack of motivation on his part and Warcraft. He refused to work and spent days not sleeping or showering because he was afraid to leave his beloved game for more than the 30 seconds it took him to pee. We ended up having to move back home because I was so unhappy with the situation at work that I quit and I was the only one who paid the bills. I owed thousands in credit cards and I masturbated more than I do now. He had a large dick too. It’s a shame.

Now my friend is going through the same thing. Her husband plays Warcraft. I remember talking to my boyfriend after we broke up and he told me that he was 17th in the whole world. It’s impressive but I asked “do you get money for that?” No of course not and even if you could I doubt he would have tried.

Relationships are hard and I find it much easier not to be in one. I may change my mind one day. I’m sure when I do my significant other will not want me to continue with my free lifestyle so I hope it’s a long time from now, I love getting naked!

I added a few new galleries so look and let me know what you think!