My interview with Mark Torgl is up on MrSkin.com. Read it here. Mark is the actor who played Melvin in Toxic Avenger. He’s held a lot of tits thanks to Lloyd Kaufman. And he’s not a big dork like the characters he plays in the movies. He’s a pretty sexy guy and I’m going to meet him when I go to LA.

Now Mark edits reality shows. I guess that means he is responsible for making people look like idiots. What a fun job!

I wanted to get the below post up before I left from work today and in my haste I left some things out….

First, I didn’t think it needed a picture but don’t worry I have a few more to post, like this one, before the next shoot. The shoot will hopefully be soon because I need to show off my new hair. It’s really hot and I hope you all like it.

Second, Water Tower theaters were closed for a few years. They have since re-opened and show “Art House” movies. I haven’t been since. When my friend was a security guard not only did we fuck in the theater we smoked pot with the other guards in there too. We frequently went to the roof which was almost 80 stories. I’ve see the Air and Water Show twice from that roof top and I’ve seen the Navey Pier fireworks too many times to count. We had a lot of fun.

The hallway he led me through was the basement and it was filled with pipes. I left out how I fell a few times because it just wasn’t sexy.

Third, Oprah lived in the Water Tower condo’s. I’ve seen her with her little dogs. And Water Tower was right next to the Ritz Carlton and we’ve seen Madonna, Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney sneak through the dock to avoid fans. No I didn’t meet any of them.

Forth, this weekend was similar because I was tied to my couch and received similar pussy attention. I still walk a little funny. Bless you men for knowing how to play with the pussy correctly. I watched a Christy Canyon porn and in it she got some of the best pussy action and I had to have some of my own.

Ever since that night, I enjoy being bent over and having my ass and pussy played with. I’m not very into being tied up or blindfolded although sometimes it’s necessary. Sometimes I have them put me over a chair or the couch. My favorite is having my ass propped up by pillows-no less than three so my ass is nice and high. If I’m tied the best way is to have my wrists tied to my knees which spreads me wide and opens me up. It’s heaven. Oh, I’d better stop before I want some more and get on the phone again.

All you lovers, leave some comments. I want to hear from you. I love hearing from you. And if you are a hair dresser, thank you but I already have one and I visited her this weekend. So please let it go!

What happened to me this weekend was not that different than what happened to me a few years ago when I was “caught” sneaking into Water Tower Place late at night.

My friend was a night security guard at Water Tower and he decided to teach me a lesson after I had handcuffed him to a chair and gave him the blow job of a life time. He wasn’t happy with me because I made him cum before he was ready.

For my punishment he made me strip down to my g-string. He handcuffed my hands behind my back and blindfolded me. With his hand around my upper arm he pulled me awkwardly which made me trip and stumble leading me down a very long hallway. Instead of helping me when I stumbled he slapped my ass hard and I yelped loud. “Shut Up!” he yelled stopping me. I heard the sound of fabric rubbing against fabric and then felt silk being pulled across my mouth. I was now gagged. I got another slap and we moved on.

Next he let go of my arm and pushed me forward and I stumbled around wondering where I was or what he was going to do next. I stood there for what seemed like hours. I didn’t want to make any noise. I wanted him to think I was strong and defiant. But I almost broke my silence but then I felt something lightly touch my nipples. They were very sensitive, both cold and aroused. Whatever he touched me with was so soft and the touch was so light. I felt it so deep that the sensation rippled throughout my body from the tips of my fingers and toes it shivered up my legs and arms down my back, chest and stomach until it hit my clit and it started to throb. I let out a moan as cum oozed out of me and slicked down my lips and moistened my thighs. Then the sensation stopped and again there was nothing.

Nothing. I was shaking and moaning louder and louder. I didn’t care if he hit me anything would have felt good at this point. Then a hand slammed against my right ass cheek. He hit me so hard that I screamed through my gag and saliva soaked the silk and dripped down my chin at the same time cum was running down my inner thigh. I never thought I could cum without insertion or clitoral stimulation but my clit throbbed and my pussy was dripping. My knees started to buckle and my legs seemed to have a mind of their own. Just before I fell he caught me and I leaned against him as he walked me further. Not too much further and through the blindfold I could see a light.

He sat me in a cushioned chair and I heard he walk away. I waited naked on this chair listening to him move around. I heard zippers and snaps, buckles and velcro. I hoped he was undressing but when he got closer and picked me up my breasts rubbed against pants, his belt buckle and then his shirt as I rose. He turned me around and ordered me not to talk as he removed my gag. He put a water bottle up to my lips and let me have a drink. Then he got behind me put his hand on my back and pushed me forward bending me at the waist over the back of a chair. Cold steel hit my stomach and I tensed up. He rubbed my back gently telling me it was ok and it wasn’t going to hurt too much. He unlocked my handcuffs releasing my hands and bringing my left arm forward over the chair and with the cuff still around the left wrist locked me to what I assumed was the arm of the chair. I heard clinking and felt my right hand being brought forward and the clicking of another set of handcuffs fastened my right wrist to the other arm of the chair. He then walked away for a minute and came back with something soft and placed it between my tummy and the back of the chair.

He pushed me forward so that my head hit the chair seat. I was in a movie theater because the seat was up and I could feel the other two seats on both sides of me. He bent me so far over that my feet were no longer touching the floor. I felt each ankle being tied to the arms of the chair behind me. My ass was pointing to the ceiling and I could feel my pussy opening. Behind me I heard snaps like rubber bands then he unscrewed the top of something. Next thing I felt was his fingers cold and wet smearing lube all over my ass and pussy. I know why he tied my legs up because the sensation made my legs jerk and I would have kicked him uncontrollably.

I felt his tongue lick my lips and poke my clit. His fingers drove into my pussy. One finger then two prying me open. My cunt throbbed and I could feel my lips pulsing. His fingers stroked and massaged my groves and into my cunt then out, in then out, in then out. I was panting and whimpering into the soft cushion of the chair. I forgot all about the uncomfortable position I was in all I could think about was the pleasure I felt in my crotch. One finger pushed the nerve ending over and over then ran down my lips into my vagina exploring, pushing into me. My breathing was quick as he made his way up, up and then he slowly slid it into my ass. I screamed and came all over his hand. My body jerked and the contractions racked my body. The orgasm shivered up my spine and jerked my head up as my moans echoed throughout the theater.

I thrashed around so much one of my legs broke free causing my body to fall slightly. He quickly pulled out and grabbed my hips before I was hurt. It wouldn’t have mattered if it hurt I wouldn’t have felt it any way. My other leg was released and the handcuffs were removed. I felt a towel gently wipe my bottom brushing my clit sending vibrations through my body once again as I let him carry my weight. Next thing I knew I was being lowered to the floor. His knee pushed my legs apart. He was still wearing pants. He was breathing hard and fast. His hands ripped off my g-string.

I heard a buckle and a zipper and then he slammed his hard cock into me. My whole body responded and my skin was covered with goosebumps. My nipples were so hard they hurt. I raised my hips to meet each thrust which was fast and hard. Each thrust he slammed into me felt like an orgasm. I heard screaming and realized it was coming from me. His mouth covered mine to shut me up. His lips were wet and his tongue was hot as it licked mine. He the pulled up and removed my blindfold and his blue eyes bore into mine. We just stared at each other pounding into one another.

As soon as I started to come he let out a moan and tried not to look away as I let the contractions take over my body. I felt my lips squeeze his cock until he let out a yell sat up quickly and sprayed his cum all over my tits. It hit my chin then my mouth and I licked it while I watched him stroke his cock squeezing every last drop out.

I rubbed his cum into my breasts watching the sweat drip from his forehead. We got up and looked around at the abandoned theater. We gathered our stuff and went out in search for my clothes.

That is the story of my first cavity search.

These two sites intrigued me this week:
la fille mariée
and
Polyamorously Perverse

I found la fille mariée on a post on Porn Hater about Sugasm #62’s top blogs of the week. Fille’s writing is very erotic and turned me on. The blog is about her journey into debauchery and is very dramatic urging me to return day after day to read the next sexual entry. I commented on her “Beautiful Cock” entry and it prompted a few people to write to me. One of them was Polyamorously Perverse. I’ve always found polyamorous relationships fascinating and am, as to be expected, very skeptical of their success. (That may sound weird coming from me. Just so you understand, I am not in a polyamorous relationship. I am not in any relationships that are serious at all. My lovers are friends not potential life partners.) So I am going to read his journal and see how his relationship progresses.

I’m amazed at the responses to the last post. I had no idea I would get an “ugly” about my ass. Not that I don’t appreciate the nice tits part of the comment but ugly kinda sucked to hear. And another agreed with me about my ass not being my best asset. The EP was pissed of course. HE said my ass was perfect for my body and that it was beautiful and something that he loved to squeeze, spank, kiss and suck all the time. He always makes me feel good. I’m not mad at the people who wrote the comments, I published them. The negative comments were not necessary at all.

For every 1 negative comment or email I get I am showered with at least 10 beautiful and flattering comments. I love that all of you support me. So enjoy this picture.

Also, I am writing a new post in Road To Christy Canyon. I just got Teenage Christy Canyon. I had so much fun with that this weekend and I’m writing a new recap on the blog. I’m not sure when it will be finished. All I know is that I will have fun writing it.

If you are curious about whether or not I had the weekend that I planned the snswer is: Yes! OOOOOHHH YES!!!!

An email came the other day and it wasn’t a very encouraging message. This person told me that I was narcissistic and had mental problems. I am very aware that my blog is narcissistic. Mental problems, I’m not so sure. The idea of normal is not so clear anymore. Who knows what is normal today. I write this blog and post nude pictures of myself because I want to. I don’t do it for anyone else. I do like the attention and hearing that I am pretty. As someone who used to be 50 pounds heavier I am very proud of myself for losing the weight. I also don’t think I am thin so showing off my body and getting compliments proves that women don’t have to be really thin to be desired.

But I’m not really trying to get a feminist message across with the blog either. This blog isn’t about how society is wrong about women. The negative emails and messages I received have proven that. The messages just underline that people are too involved with others lives and not their own. If these people want to judge me it only says that they are just as screwed up as they think I am if not more. Why would anyone care what I do if it doesn’t impact their lives at all? I don’t think me posting pictures or writing about myself is going to kill hurt or kill anyone.

I don’t like being judged. I judge celebrity, I admit to that and it’s wrong, but its really funny. I don’t judge people next door. I don’t go to other people’s blogs and tell them they are pieces of shit. I don’t want to hurt anyone.

I just want to have fun. Emailing me or leaving nasty comments is not going to change me and make me stop writing or posting pictures. One person tells me he’s worried about me. I’m flattered but I want to know how exactly someone half way around the world is going to impact my life. If the message was meant to make me see something new it didn’t. I did realize that my writing has been more about me personally rather than the things I am doing, places I’m going and people I meet. I was aware of that change and am planning on changing back. I took a break from working. Winter brought me down. I’m still down but not as much as before. I have accepted winter and have to suffer through. Moving to a warmer area looks better every 13 degree day.

So now for some pictures! I’m very insecure about my ass. This picture I used a filter to mask my insecurities. I think it looks neat.

This picture is from the cleaning set. The dark root set. Soon I need to do another shoot.

I guess the point of this post aside from me showing off and begging for attention, is to let you know that I won’t post nasty comments so don’t bother. If you don’t like what you see here just shut up and go somewhere else. No one is holding a gun to your head and making you look at my blog. If someone is it’s not my problem and that’s really weird-good luck with that.

And to those of you who send me nice comments and email me sweet words, I love you. You make me smile and feel like I can conquer the world. Thank you so much!

Yes I like to clean. I watch TV and want to own all cleaning supplies advertised. I want vacuums and I have hard wood floors. But I used to have a carpet in my last place and it’s always good to be prepared.

So in case you are asking no I don’t normally clean my own house nude. At least not in the winter. I usually clean the bathroom last since that makes me feel the dirtiest. So I’m usually pretty naked when I’m in there and I take a shower afterward. The whole experience is about being clean with my body being the final room to clean. This particular time I was not at home and got cleaned in other ways.

I’ve been exploring other erotic blogs lately. I’m not sure that this is an erotic blog. I’ll maybe talk about that later. Ironically they led to this site and I’ve spent the last couple of hours trying to learn how to be a sexier Christian. I’m learning how to laugh that’s for sure.

They have a Q and A section and one of the questions “Is it OK to masturbate?” which prompted this answer:

It is our belief that masturbation is not inherently wrong (for more on that see the masturbation section ), but there do seem to be some very valid concerns about masturbation by married folks. We are commanded to meet our spouse’s sexual needs, and any masturbation which limits our ability to do this is wrong. Additionally, if we feel a need to masturbate, that is a sign our spouse is not meeting our needs . But what if one person has a much stronger sex drive? It seems to us that this does not “relieve” the less-interested person of responsibility for meeting their spouse’s sexual needs. If masturbation is needed more than occasionally it may well be a sign of a problem. It is also a concern if a person’s spouse is unaware of masturbation, or is unaware of how frequent it is.

And what if one spouse in unable to have sex because of sickness or physical limitations? In this situation masturbation seems a reasonable option, but we would suggest it is best done in the presence of the spouse. This significantly reduces the chances of wrong thoughts, and allows the partner to be a part of the activity by holding the one masturbating, offering some form of stimulation, or describing what they could be doing if they were both able to have sex.

I feel so dirty. I’d better take off my clothes and clean the house…with my new vacuum.

PS: So yes MK when you IM’ed me I was mopping naked.
And I got the Ron Jeremy interview!

This is my attempt to be sexy in a wet t-shirt. It was not fun getting all wet in the middle of winter after being naked and cleaning. Don’t worry I have more naked cleaning pictures coming. I just didn’t save any this morning so this will have to do. There is nipple. You can see it. I’m trying to convey more with my modeling. Getting a little adventurous. I’m bored with just being naked. Just lying there on my back which makes my stomach look the best.

So three days after the Golden Globes and I finally have something to say. I think for the last three days I was just in shock and put them out of my mind. I only watched 5 minutes of it but I checked with all my favorite blogs for the re-cap on the dresses. There was a lot about the men but I really don’t care about the men unless they look ridiculous. Prince and Johnny Depp always deliver. I am so disappointed about the state of celebrity fashion. It looked like prom night 1991. What’s with all the taffeta, white and toga’s? It was really a disgusting parade of Hilary Clinton’s walking the red carpet. My fear is that I am going to be attacked by taffeta at a club because the public copies the famous. I like it when dresses are see-through and people make complete asses out of themselves by wearing plaid and floral together. We can expect no nip-slips this year. Is that what happened? Everyone covered up protecting their nipples? I hope not. The boringness of the whole affair bled through to the fashion. Award shows are too boring! I’d rather be naked than wear so much fabric. I don’t think many women read my blog so I’ll consider myself safe from any comments regarding fashion opinions.

All this blahness has given my libido a jump start. I have to go on a sex excursion this weekend. I’ll start making calls right now in fact. I need to run around and get fucked. Maybe I’ll even do a porno for you-I mean write about one. I don’t have any filmmakers banging on my door for me to star in their porno. If they were I’m not sure I would participate. It’s after the holiday’s anyway and even though I’ve gotten complimenting emails asking if I have lost weight I still feel pudgy from consuming so much chocolate over the last month. Watching my body giggle while I get banged might put me in a mental hospital. It may look good to you but to me I will see a hippo. And I’ve never seen myself cum. A friend of mine was amazed that I didn’t masturbate in the mirror but I close my eyes most of the time. I have to shut out everything except what’s going on in my pussy in order to have a great orgasm by myself. I do look when there is someone watching me.

Thant made me creamy.
Good.
I have a very exciting weekend to look forward to.

I’ve been caught! I tried to fool you all but I couldn’t hide it any more. I’m not a natural blond!!!! My roots are showing! OMG! Thank you to that person who pointed it out or else I never would have known. I stare into he mirror every day I don’t know how I could have missed it. These pictures are proof. I must have not been paying attention. I will get this fixed as soon as I get an extra $200. I have a few more pictures to post from this batch and if the roots offend go somewhere else. I’m not wasting good nudity on hair problems. Just so you all can see how right this person is examine the following pictures closely-if you can hold your supper in.

I had no idea that I would get so many comments and emails about my Garden State post. I always knew my feelings about Garden State were in the minority. I have to admit that when I was young I liked every John Hughs movie and loved the character that John Cusack played in all his movies. Now, after experiencing life a little, my tastes have changed and what I like to see in movies is completely different. I no longer want to see epic romances claiming that love conquers all. I want to see more of the fantastic. That’s why I love B-Movies. They’re absurd. They make fun of everything. It makes me happy so see a light spin on reality. I’m very cynical and I don’t like crying. Although Garden State didn’t make me cry The Notebook did. I try to stay away from movies that evoke that kind of feeling. I don’t want to waste my time hoping for some prince to come and save me. Right now I want to save myself which is really what this blog is all about. Yeah I turn you on with nudity and erotica but you would be surprised how much more this blog helps me. My connection with all of you fills a void that I used to fill with men and substances. It’s what I think about all day. “How can I make them laugh today?” It keeps me somewhat consistent by updating it every day. I may never get that epic romance but what I have here is much better.

Since I got off so much by hearing from you guys about Garden State, I’m gonna throw something else out there. Dane Cook has been having a MySpace fight with Alex Blagg and it’s highly amusing. I surfed the net about Dane Cook and found all this stuff about how he stole jokes from Louis CK and that a bunch of other comedians hate him. I saw Dane Cook a while ago on some show and he annoyed me to death. All that jumping around and screaming is, to me, just a tactic to hid behind unfunny material. He is way too physical for me and I didn’t really think his jokes were all that funny. People think he is brilliant and the funniest comedian ever. I don’t get it. I heard the jokes he supposedly stole and I have to say that they are remarkably similar. But I’m not sure how much I care about stealing jokes. I usually don’t care that much but it consumed me this weekend so I’m blogging about it.

I’ve been naked sewing and naked cooking, now I am naked cleaning. The floor was dirty and I didn’t have time to get dressed.

I’ve been drinking these canned Mexican fruit juices. They are made by Goya which I think is the only food manufacturer in Mexico because they make EVERYTHING sold in Bodega’s and Super Mercado’s all over the city. I think they’re making me overly sensitive and bloated. I’m having a hard time watching Ugly Betty. Daniel’s about to get screwed and I wonder how Betty is going to get him out of it. Why would anybody want to hurt these very lovable characters? It brings a tear to my eye. So I think I should stop drinking these Goya drinks. They are also making me bloated and I feel really fat. So goodbye Fresa y Banana!

Maybe not. Betty got Daniel out of it without embarrassment. I DVR’d the show. When I turned it off I puked up Fresa y Banana. Zach Braff and his embarrassing Garden State is on IFC. Natalie Portman is just so cute and gee Zach Braff and his slow depression makes him such a heart throb.

Movies like this are what makes me gravitate toward bad movies and porn. They don’t portray life realistically. Neither do B-movies or porn but at least they are fun. Movies like Garden State are about boredom disguised as mental illness covered with a sweet candy shell. Who needs to watch Braff staring longingly at his best freind played by Peter Sarsgaard. What? Dumbass! Stop staring at me! But Pete doesn’t say that he just stares back. Then Zach goes to Nat’s house and watches a tape of her skating in an alligator costume. You can see him falling in love with her in this scene, also, you can see me shoving needles in my eyes.

When I was 21 if a guy like the character Zach Braff plays in Garden State walked into my life, I’m sure I would have loved the shit out of the tear filled dude and moved in with him. But at 25 I would have beat him to a pulp and left him in the corner for the bug-eating motor cycle guy that didn’t care if I lived or died waiting outside. I wouldn’t even notice Zach mushing his face into the window as he watched me fade away on the back of the bike. Wait, that did happen but I was 28 and the bug-eater drove a truck. I guess it could be real but it doesn’t end well for the wimpy guy. So I don’t understand why Braff wrote the piece of shit. He pulled every trick out of the book: dead mom, psychiatrist dad, druggie best friend, epileptic girlfriend-how sweet. How could you not love this movie? Enough! I’ve wasted enough ink on the schmuck!

Go here: life of a star. This girl Anna is really hot and she gets naked! I’m going to interview her. She is really talented. Women like Anna inspire me to get more done. But not tonight. Tonight I need sleep.

Trying to find a picture for this entry was hard. I took some new pictures this weekend but they aren’t ready yet. So I had to find something that wouldn’t bore me. So I’m posting something I rarely post. In fact I think I’ve only posted it once before on the other blog. I don’t like giving it away for free. But I’m happy I’ve been getting so many sexy interviews. So to celebrate, you get my shaved pussy for free. My pussy will not be making regular appearances so enjoy it while you can. If you wan to see it in many different positions with fingers or unshaved, you need to buy the pictures. I’ll write something sexy on the picture and you can whack off to it as much as you want. Make sure you tell me about it too.

Enjoy.

It snowing in Chicago. I left work and got bus number one and somehow lost my bus card. I never do that. I’m never this careless. The card had $20 on it, enough to get me through the week. I had to walk over a mile because I didn’t have cash on me to get bus number two. I left my ATM card at home on purpose so I wouldn’t spend any more money (I still want to go to New York). I walked over a mile to my apartment in the snow in four inch heels. Monday’s suck! And so does winter! Now I will spend my laundry money on the bus. Don’t feel sorry for me make a donation and buy some pictures. They come without the drawn-on panties.

At home I flipped on the TV ready for a night of Law and Order. Basketball is ruining my evenings. Law and Order should just have it’s own channel. I turned on the guide and the Golden Globes were on. I actually started to panic. This is true, I am not exaggerating. My hands started shaking and I broke out in a sweat. I used to love award shows. Celebrities used to be so much fun to watch. Awards were given to deserving artists and it was fun to watch them parade around in their fancy dresses. Now award shows are all about who’s the most popular and who makes the studios the most money.

But, I feel like it is my duty to watch the awards, so I flipped them on. I missed the beginning which was a relief. On the TV was George Clooney and smug assholeness oozed from my screen. I was waiting for him to pontificate about how farting accomplishes more than George Bush can ever hope to. Thankfully, he was giving out an award and not accepting one. Best Actress, I think. He announced some foreign women from the movie Babel I didn’t know, Emily Blunt (who?), J-Hud (Jennifer Hudson of American Idol turned star of Dream Girls) and Cate Blanchett (from–it doesn’t matter because she’s been naked in films and deserves every award she is nominated for).

J-Hud won and I really don’t care. I was expecting her to win. I don’t really expect much from the motion picture association or whatever produces this show. The people who win rarely deserve it anymore. These award shows have become just as shallow and vapid as beauty pageants. It’s all about money and popularity. If J-Hud didn’t win thousands of little girls would have thrown hissy fits and might not watch again next year (really?) Kate Blanchett really acts, J-Hud just yell-sang into a microphone and acted mad because Beyonce was getting all the attention she wanted. Which was probably what was really going on during the filming. I think she’s a great singer but she isn’t a better actress than Cate Blanchett. I don’t think anyone believes that either so I’m not really sure what these awards are for anymore.

No, I wasn’t mad or upset until the camera showed the tear-filled eyes of Beyonce. I have respect for my belongings so I repressed the desire to throw the remote into the TV and changed the channel. I can’t handle that shit. It’s so fucking fake. I’m so sure Beyonce is that “happy” for J-Hud. Piece of shit! I wish she would just stick to singing, looking hot and wearing the ridiculous dresses her mommy makes for her.

So you wanna know what I turned on instead? I Love New York. I’m not kidding. I would rather watch a menagerie of men trip over themselves trying to be black enough for Flavor Flav’s regurgitated left-overs than watch Beyonce cry. Granted, Beyonce is much easier to look at than New York but Beyonce is boring, boring, boring and New York is crazy, crazy, crazy! It’s hilarious.

I watched the 1st show and her Latin Lover called Rico called her something in Spanish that meant “my little black bootie baby” or something, and she got spitting mad. He explained to her that it meant something nice in Latin and she said “Yeah, but I’m not from Latin!” I peed my pants!

The EP thinks that most of the men are gay but I think there is only one guy that’s gay. His name is Romance-see she gives them all nicknames like Flav did on his show because she is incapable of being original. Romance cried the entire two episodes he was on because his dog Princess died and he loves New York so much. It was really creepy and I’m sure the producers begged her to keep him around but by show two she kicked him out. He cried and all his love for New York fell out of his stretched out asshole as he insulted her. He then took a moment to collect himself and lisped “But I’m a profeshional.” Homo!

Her mother, I’m sorry, her Moms said the best line yet, “I looked between his legs and saw something green and mossy looking and I wonder if it’s contagious?” I’m convinced that New York’s Moms is really her Dads.

I flipped the Awards back on as Tom Hanks gave Warren Beatty the DeMille award. Hanks looks bad and Beatty looks old. When they panned the audience eveyone looked like shit. Bad lighting. If I ever get into making movies I am going to stay away from good movies. I do not want to be seen in that lighting. Beatty didn’t make any sense. I think he just licked Clint Eastwood, Jack Nicholsen and Annette Benning’s asses which I hear he liked to do when he was younger anyway. I changed the channel and watched the White Rapper show. Wow, I’m a loser!

So that’s what I did tonight. Now I’m going to transcribe an interview for little and figure out how I’m going to get to work tomorrow.

My Saturday photo shoot was postponed until today. I bought an Elle magazine the other day and scrutinized it. I have not been paying attention to fashion since I began writing. I used to read Vogue, Bizarre and W magazine from cover to cover. I bought Elle because I’m thinking about trying out for Project Runway and Elle magazine is the major sponsor for the competition. I’m starting to have second thoughts about trying out. I don’t like the way people are portrayed on reality shows. I’m not sure I want to risk being edited as a slut or an idiot. Maybe later I’ll get into why but right now I want to talk about these pictures.

I was trying to think of new ideas for photos. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a fashion model. But my height and breasts made that impossible. Fashion
photography has always turned me on. Helmut Newton is one of my favorite photographers.

His work has always been considered sexist because it depicts women as victims. I think his photography is simply driven by sex. He liked seeing women in submissive roles. It’s just a preference and people who criticize his work miss that. Just like people who criticize pornography. People who want to produce pornography are just doing what they want to do. It’s what drives them and brings out their creativity. I’m not talking about Gonzo porn or a lot of what is being produced today. But I really don’t want to turn this blog entry in that direction. It think it’s pretty evident what my preference is.

Back to fashion. If I can’t be a fashion model in magazines, I’ll be one on here. Since I look much better half in and half out of clothes I’m half in and out of my jacket.

I made this jacket a few years ago. It took me 2 days because there was a large amount of hand sewing. I’m sure no one will really notice how beautiful this jacket is because my boobs are in the way, but I’m very proud of it. And no, I did not make the jeans.

We took a total of 5 pictures of this jacket and these were the only ones I liked. I’m not smiling the them, but fashion models don’t really smile. Some do (like the one above) but it’s rare. I think I look a bit ridiculous trying to look all chic but my tits look fantastic. And this is me after a week of eating chocolate for dinner. I’m pretty happy I didn’t gain too much weight. The buttons are awesome too.

This picture may look familiar. It’s just like the picture of me and Tiffany I posted about a week ago. This is Chad. I went to High School with Chad. We weren’t friends back then. I knew him and I think we went to some of the same parties but never hung out together.

About a year ago, my friend saw Chad’s profile on myspace so I contacted him. We are really good friends now. He has a ban called Jed, they are really good. It’s so weird. I would never have guessed that one day I would have a picture of Chad holding my breast in a bar. Chad and Tiffany were afraid we would get kicked out. I thought that was really funny seeing how the DJ invited me and posed with me too.

His name is Jamie and he DJ’s every Wednesday night the The Rock Party. It was a lot of fun. He also produces the Local 101 Show on Q101. Q101 is a popular radio station in Chicago. I’m not a big fan of Q101. The new alternative music confuses me. Now I feel like my parents when they couldn’t understand my music. But it really all sounds the same to me. I listened to the Cure and the Smiths when I was younger. Those two bands were never played on the radio and made rare appearances on MTV. Now when there is a classic 80’s show on VH1 they play a bunch of Cure and Smiths. I’m confused, why is it popular now and when I was younger I was called a freak because I listened to it? I wanted to punch the prom queen who screamed “I love this song!” when “Somebody” by Depeche Mode played at my 5 year reunion. First of all, it’s an annoying song that I liked when I was 15. I grew up and realized how gay it was. Secondly, she never listened to that when it came out! She was listening to Motley Crue or the Greatful Dead (I forget which her boyfriend was, a Dead Head or a Burn Out. Those girls never made their own musical choices.) And I love how all these people are coming out and saying that the Pixies are the greatest band ever. I bought Doolittle when it came out in 1989 and listened to it every day! The first time they heard it was probably when the Pixies formed their reunion tour. I obviously have a very strong opinion about music.

I’m babbling. But I am wearing the pixies hoodie in these pictures. I get recognized when I wear it. Makes me feel like a celebrity.

Today I am going to have a photoshoot so check in tonight or tomorrow. Then I am all work and no play. I have to email potential interviewee’s. And I also have to write up my interview with Mark Torgl. He played Melvin in the Toxic Avenger. What a surprise he was. The interview is fantastic! He is really talented and I’m so excited for you to read it. Now he edits reality TV shows and he loves it. How fun his life must be. We also talked about boobs! Stay tuned and I will let you know when that will be up.

New Year’s Eve pictures. This is what I look like drunk!

Here I am, surprised, at party number two. At this point I had consumed three screwdrivers and half a glass of Champagne. I later drank 2 Chocolate Martini’s. I was drunk and I got stopped feeling hung.

Recognize this? At the first party an adoring fan wanted her own copy of the famous Pixies Breasts. I love it when my breasts are recognized before I am.

My beloved Commander Bob and I danced to Madonna. I met my Commander at a previous job. He was the marketing analyst and I was the RTV Coordinator. We smoked together. My boss was also named Bob. I kind of had a crush on my boss. But he was married. The three of us were inseparable. We went to lunch together every day. There was a problem though. When I asked Bob a question they would both answer. So my boss Bob became “Big Bob” and Bob became “Commander Bob” I became “Pretty Lady”. I’m still Pretty Lady but we don’t see Big Bob anymore. I love my Commander Bob. We both love Madonna. Commander Bob took me to a Madonna show once and I saw Joan Cusack. She is really really skinny! We had a great time. We both got hit on by guys. It was great.

There you have it, my New Year’s Eve. I know, I’m in clothes. I’ll take them off I just wanted to show you what I did that night.

Unhappily, I think I have to let my dream of going to New York in February go. It is a very painful decision I have come to. There was so much there that was worth going into debt for. But unfortunately, I don’t even have the money that I should not spend to spend on this trip. I hope it is understood that my insides are in agony over this decision. My heart is broken and as much as I’d like to blame that on an outside source, it is my own doing. My passionate behavior has driven away the one reason that would have made me risk my life here in Chicago to experience something that I had hoped was waiting for me in New York. It is the way I work. I am an expert at being a pest. Annoyance is a mistake I make from time to time. I risk my dignity and professional relationships to see if a fantasy can become a reality. It rarely becomes reality for me and when it does the high is worth it and I tried. I found that now is not the time. Hopefully soon it will be right and that fantastic reason in New York will still be there and I can embrace it like I long to do so now with the same fervor that occupies my dreams.

Instead I concentrate on Los Angeles and the beautiful and fantastic women that are waiting to teach me to be the woman I want to be. Men are once again on the back burner. I want to sit naked in oatmeal with Christy and caress Fatty Delicious’ skin, I will be delirious with ecstasy!

Christy and Ginger are going to teach me how to have sex with the airwaves. Fatty Delicious is going to teach me to love my curves. And Elske is going to teach me how to scream while looking sexy in a bikini.

I almost lost it with this New York fantasy and I really wish I did but for now I have a reality to get to one with the most beautiful women in the world.

I can still dream about being an all day sucker in New York.